The Eye of the World, Part 2 of Whatever

Recap: I'm an aspiring fantasy author, reading Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time for the first time. How far will I get before I get sick of this format? Who can say!

Previously: Part 1.

Launching right in!

The Eye of the World, Chapter 1: An Empty Road

After an over-dramatic introduction ripped off of Lord of the Rings, we meet Our Hero, Luke Skywalker Rand al'Thor, who has a silly name and not much personality (yet?). His dad, Tam, is described as a matter-of-fact Casual Badass, but he doesn't actually do anything interesting this chapter. Boo. Neither does anyone else, though.

Rand is being stalked by a Nazgul a clearly supernatural rider dressed in black on a black horse who exudes (probably black) hatred of life and just so happens to look exactly like a Nazgul. He wants to shank Rand in the face, or so Rand senses through the Force either authorial contrivance or latent Magical Powers.

Rand has a penis, so if he DOES have magical powers, we'll have to deal with the Tainted Penis Magic from the prologue. $20 says he'll either be the destined Purifier of said Magic, or one of the Few who ends up being able to use it. I don't know yet if this is one of those No Sex Allowed fantasy stories (like Tolkien and NOT George R. R. Martin), but if it's not, I hope this comes into play somehow. I'm not holding my breath, though.

We're introduced to Rand's Quaint Hometown Village, which can't be long for this world. Calling it now: this village is wiped off the map before the first act is over. Possibly by orcs. Or stormtroopers. The village - Emond's Field - is populated by stereotypes: whiny husbands and bitchy domineering women who cook, clean, and have a monopoly over magic. I'm tired of them before they're done being introduced.

Plus there's some girl who makes Rand's penis feel funny (how old is he, anyway?), but we don't get to meet her. Also, a best friend who has Rand's dad's name but backwards. (Look, I know this is inspired by Lord of the Rings, but I don't recall having to roll my eyes every time Tolkien introduced and named a new character.)

My Impressions So Far:

My hope for originality in this story is fading fast, though Jordan throws in some good details here and there. I particularly liked several turns of phrase (for instance, describing the danger of wolves and bears, and the chill wind that would rather bear snow), but just as often the description is unnecessary or overwritten.

Characters are a bit flat so far, even Tam, who seemed promising when initially described. Rand isn't super exciting as a naive Farm Boy lacking in personal magnetism. I'm completely unimpressed with depiction #1986759 of Stereotypical Men and Women; I'm kind of relieved that Rand's dad is a widower so we aren't subjected to Jordan's vision of what his Poor Dead Mother was like. Yet.

There's a seriously annoying bit where Rand info-dumps the Mystical History of the World. People don't talk like that. They just don't. Lucky it only lasts a few sentences.

(Alright, this post still only covers one chapter. Maybe next post will be multi-chapter. Maybe.)

Next time: Chapter 2!